2004-08-10 - 10:55 p.m.

An exhauster, but a good one... up around 7ish, off for coffee at 8, which i managed to spill, just yet unsipped, on the table, chairs, paper, and floor in front and below me. Luckily the establishment was cheerful enough to provide a towel and mopper, and gracious enough to procure a second cup alongside my steaming brew of embarrassment amidst all the ol' townsfolk. He arrived and we spoke awkwardly and inaudibly for a bit, not hearing each other but half the time more inclined toward putting all our energies to the next sentence or story, although it became more actively animated when common scholastic ground was reached and unfortunately that may be the pasture to which we're corralled, though breaching such confinement is not unheard of. At least he's a nice enough guy who may, in fact, help me move which is something one does not turn away from.

After an hour of those pleasantries, it was off to the Cities for a morning of kayaking. My first such excursion--excitement built as i anticipated the canoeing contrasts--and it proved a most excellent enterprise, with two whole delightful hours of pedalling and paddling. Necessarily, be-wetsuited fun, as we'd wisely settled upon what turned out to be the coldest August MN day on record (mid/late-50s).

From there, back to the country again for a hopeful few hours at work, during which i bathed and played with a dog, mopped a few floors and polished some furniture. Following that light shift, i drove home only to turn around and jog outside for a bit less than an hour, listening to the 6th (or is it 7th?) Italian tape for the 7th (or is it the 6th?) time, now. Perhaps i'll move on to the next for a while and then recap all of them within a few weeks. Va benne.

And after such an assortment of cardio workouts i was in store for an evening of lounging and eating and wee bit of drinking along with some sinful television viewing.

Augh, i've come to feel guilty while watching any tv now. It must be Mandy's influence but i always feel as though i should be doing something else, something... productive. And, of course, such tasks abound, although one can only dole out so much discipline in a day and mine is generally used up in the mornings with the hour long aerobic/language wakeup workout and subsequent tea/crossword puzzle breakfast regiment.

At any rate, i now count down the days to the weekend when i'm actually going north again for the first time in months. oh damn it's going to be so reminiscent of the few years past. i do hope that Mieke will be able to join, or it will be all too familiar a drive with none of those old familiar consequences. But, a happy final destination at the cabin, anyway. That shall, of course, be a mini prep for the big weeklong party beginning next weekend. And, i don't know how to feel about the sleeping arrangements of few, but after so many months i think the best is not to feel but only to live and enjoy and not worry away. fuck it, if Mike is bringing his brownies and the alcohol flows freely over edward-40-hands night after girl drink drunk and such good excursions on the S.S. Beer, then all will be well. But, this weekend will be a pure tea and crumpet purity prequel. If the following week's releases won't prepare me for the GRE, then nothing, logically, will.

Ever so much closer to Europe, once again. Only 2 1/2 years removed. Four whole months of self-discipline in personally structured research on italian and irish coastlines. Anticipation has been building for months, just as i've been living out of a suitcase, already, since May: two weeks in the Cities, working; a week in Oregon visiting; a week in the country and Cities working bits as well as a group weekend for the wedding; three weeks to a much countrier country in northern Wisconsin for filming, quite the experience in and of itself; three weeks back here again working and doing a bit of prep and research and an even wee-er bit of studying; a weekend in Milwuakee; a week and a half, already, back here again though several Cities nights interspersed therein; soon a weekend up north; a week down here again, packing and moving and working; a week up north; a week in the Cities; finally off to Europe for four months. Aaahh the pleasures to be gained from mere ideas.

"do you realize you have the most beautiful face do you realize we're floating in space do you realize that happiness makes you cry do you realize that everyone you know someday will die and instead of saying all of your goodbyes let them know you realize that life goes fast it's hard to make the good things last you realize the sun doesn't go down it's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round...."

-flaming lips

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